Why in the vast world of gaming do people think that Mario and Sonic have such a long lasting rivalry? I mean Mario is so much more popular than Sonic and has twice as many games. I think its because Sega is losing money so Nintendo said we will compromise. We will put Mario and Sonic in a game because then it will appeal to many audiences. A foolish move on their part.

Why not put Mario and Link in a game together? Mario has twice as many games and is more popular, but Link has more character development among his friends and has a better storyline to all his games. This would be epic.

Plus I see people painfully waiting for a new Legend of Zelda game on a daily basis.

The light in the sky

Meteor showers are like the light of God. They shine the brightest in the darkest places, and man-made lights obscure their true beauty and brillance.

Poor kids... Teacher

• In the first book of the bible, Guinessis. God got tired of creating the world so he took the Sabbath off.
  
• Adam and eve were created from an apple tree.
  
• Noah's wife was Joan of ark. Noah built and ark and the animals came on in pears.
  
• Lots wife was a pillar of salt during the day, but a ball of fire during the night.
  
• The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.
  
• Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.
  
• Samson slayed the philistines with the axe of the apostles.
  
• Moses led the Jews to the red sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients
  
• The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up to mount cyanide to get the ten commandments.
  
• The first commandments was when eve told Adam to eat the apple.
  
• The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
  
• Moses died before he ever reached Canada . then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of geritol.
  
• The greatest miricle in the bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
  
• David was a Hebrew king who was skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in biblical times.
  
• Solomon, one of Davids sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
  
• When Mary heard she was the mother of jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
  
• When the three wise guys from the east side arrived they found Jesus in the manager.
  
• Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.
  
• St. john the blacksmith dumped water on his head.
  
• Jesus enunciated the golden rule, which says to do unto others before they do one to you. He also explained a man doth not live by sweat alone.
  
• It was a miricle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance.
  
• The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels.
  
• The Epistels were the wives of the apostles.
  
• One of the oppossums was st. Matthew who was also a taximan.
  
• St. Paul cavorted to Christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another name for marraige.
  
• Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

Gotta love those church bulletins!

• The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
  
• The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
  
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
  
• Don't let worry kill you off let the Church help.
  
• Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
  
• Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
  
• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
  
• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
  
• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  
• Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  
• Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
  
• The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
  Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM prayer and medication to follow.
  
• This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
  
• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
  
• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
  
• Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  
• Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  
• The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours. ‘

The Fail restaurant

This post came about because I hate it when people overuse the word "fail" (You people know who you are.) So En Garde!

So one failtacular day while I was failing at life with my girlfriend who fails at life also, we decided to go to the Fail Restaurant in a failing car. So we walked through the "One Way" doors and I said to her "That is a big fail." So we saw the failing table with three legs and she said "Table for a failing couple please." The Table Guide then leaned over to grab two menus and the fail table caved and he fell on his butt. And I said "That is a fail so incredible that it is almost a win!"

As we walked through the restaurant and I saw many failing Mall Goths. (You know the ones who sit there and look frightening. But will not shop for better clothes. Fail.) When we got to the table, the waiter said to us "The fail salad is 3 dollars off today." We decided to have it. He then said "Would you like a side of epic with your fail?"

I'm sorry I can't continue this. It is so epically awesome that I can't say anything else

Have you ever noticed that you always, in every job, have a sort of secret employee? You know the guy who you never really notice or see a lot of but you know he or she is a cool person and they never say much about what their life is like outside the job?
"So what did you do this weekend?"
"I can't tell you..."
"You are so cool..."

My friend: I once had a dream I was an apple

Me: I once had a dream I did horrible things to penguins with a croquet mallet.

WTC?!

Girl is from Bleach and the remix is from Basshunter.

FYI, my friends hate this so I torture them with it.

10 People I dislike with great intensity

1. Miley Cyrus- She is not as great as Billy Ray Cyrus. They say the same thing about #2
2. Jim Belushi- John was better.
3. Vince Vaugh- All of his movies can sum up to "Oh I'm incapable of helping another person. Oh I guess not."
4. The people who come into a restaurant with screaming kids- nothing more is required.
5. Will Ferrel- He is TOO DAMN PREDICTABLE AND HIS JOKES ARE ALWAYS ABOUT SEX!!!
6. People who use other people they don't know to help with a favor
7. People who ask for something in the basement but then ask for something else down as soon as you reach the top of the stairs.
8. Emos
9. Metalheads
10. Incredibly dense people- like when you have an argument with a friend about whether or not boxers are still underwear.